His Wisdom


I have strong but correct opinions.

C. Schasel 2021

Christian
Health Consultant / The Church of Schasel

On the Necessity of Internal Organs

Meh, you don’t need a liver.

C. Schasel
Pedagogue of Ethics / Schasel Board of Ethics

On the Philosophy of Ethics

Only I determine what is ethical.

C. Schasel
Principal Moral Rationalist / Schasel Board of Anti-Ethics

On Purpose

What is our purpose in life but to be unethical.

Christian
Blesser of Meals / The Church of Schasel

On His Holy Dietary Choices

I only eat air and land food, and most of the air food is flightless birds.

Christian
Primary Consumer of Dairy / Schasel Dairy Farm

On the Disappointments of Dairy Delights

The worst part about ice cream is when you get to the bottom of the pint and you have to accept than you won’t have ice cream again until tomorrow.

C. Schasel
Chief Materials Scientist / Church of Schasel

Why stop at micro-plastics?

I want macro-plastics in my brain.

Christian
Prophet of Collapse / The Church of Schasel

The End Is Near

I am resolute in my feelings of doom.

Christian
The Head Cheese of Sneeze / The Church of Schasel

I am the Arbiter of Sneeze

I could have no hands and still stop myself from sneezing. Alternatively, I could have five hands and still not sneeze.

Christian
Dignified Discourser / The Church of Schasel

On Finding Meritorious Conversation

Sometimes, the only way to have an intelligent conversation is to talk to yourself.

Christian
Professional Dietition / The Church of Schasel

The secret to weight loss

My thoughts on foodborne illness is that it is a shortcut to weight loss.

Christian

On the Daily Intake of Ice Cream

I only got four pints of ice cream.

Christian
Drinker of Salt / The Church of Schasel

Salt is Life

I drink the pretzel salt at the bottom of the bag.

Christian
Chip Connoisseur / The Church of Schasel

Chips & Their Salinity

I have yet to find a chip that is too salty.

C. Schasel
Lead Cow Milker / Schasels Dairy Farm

On Identification of Species

Cows are just big dogs.

Christian
Chip Connoisseur / The Church of Schasel

On Eating Chips Also Eaten by a Mouse

If I die, I die.

Christian

Await the Second Coming

I relish the opportunity to learn. Therefore, I must move on.

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